The Tenth High Point of my Spiritual Life

The tenth high point of my spiritual life, which leads to my great passion to see Spiritual Reformation today, is relearning how to pray.

I first learned how to pray in Sunday School.

          “Fold your hands!

          Close your eyes!

          And bow your head!,”

the teacher admonished us as she looked all around the room. “Hey, why did she get to look all around the room?!,” I demanded from my own uncomprehending little mind! But I was a pretty good boy, so I obeyed the teacher. Besides, she was three times bigger than I was! Went through the Sunday School ritual and was assured God heard me. Good! I’m getting through to God!

I did begin to question the premise that God in heaven only heard my prayers in Sunday School and at dinner time when I folded my hands, closed my eyes, bowed my head and were close to adults! Could He hear my prayers while riding my bicycle? Or was that out of bounds for God? Good question. I COULDN’T fold my hands while riding my bike! Nor close my eyes! But I’ve finally answered this question. Through desperation.

I know my Sunday School teacher didn’t want us kids bothering each other and thinking about all kinds of other things. But I began to find out that passive, quiet, eyes closed praying wouldn’t get the job done for me in a busy, noisy, bike riding day.

Living half way around the world from my old Sunday School teacher provides some great opportunities to learn how to pray. You know, the desperate, basic, unrefined, gut level prayer. As a 40 year old, I became like a little child. Maybe this is what Jesus meant when He said, “Unless you change and become like a little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3).

Following years of education, experience and maturity, I arrived with the eloquent tongue of being able to count to three. Then, after a couple of months, I advanced to,

“Hello.”

“I am good.”

“I live on Arpad ut, nyolcvan egy, Gyorben.”

“The weather is good.”

“How are you?”

“Hello.”

These are the basics we teach our kindergarten children – the essentials. These are the basics I learned for the first months of life, or new life, changing and beginning once again, as a child.

And during this time, I found that my most common prayer was really very simple, “HEEELLLP!!!” I used this form of prayer when looking for a light bulb in the city. It took me half the day. What did you call a light bulb anyway? Where do I begin? How do I ask, “Where is a light bulb?”

My vocabulary lacked,

“Where,” and

“Is,” and

“A,” and

“Lightbulb.”

So, my day started with a need. I can’t find a light bulb or even know where to begin to find one! And it took me to God in prayer.

My new form of prayer is quite different. My world is filled with need! My hands are outstretched reaching for Someone way, way beyond me! My eyes are opened wide to the sin, the sickness, the disparity, the self centeredness gone wild! My head turns upwards, getting my thoughts off this world and on to another above me!

“God! Hear me! Help me! Hold me!” “Where, oh where is a light bulb!?”

Who do you see in prayer? Who do you touch in prayer? The idea of Apostolic Ministry is to touch God in prayer. He is the Father, the Son, the Spirit of life and hope! He is the director, the planner, the fulfiller. He is the answer, the truth, the hope. The LIGHT!

Not only are my eyes peaking as I pray but I strain my eyes for light. I search for hope. I plead for a start, a beginning, a new life. I’m looking for Him with my eyes open! And I’m finding the light of life!

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Comments

[Sarah Toth]

Dad, I find this sort of desparation leads me to prayer as well. Amen!